Cartman vs Ryokan

Ryōkan meets Cartman: The First Great Fool Meeting

"Who the fuck are you?!" bellows Cartman at the ragged old hermit.

"Zen Master Ryōkan," the monk murmurs with a faint smile. "A fool from the mountains."

Cartman squints, suspicious. “Zen? Fool? Sounds like some kind of hippie magic crap.” He puffs out his chest until his coat seams strain.

 "Well, I don't care who you are! You just got to respect my authoritah!"

Ryōkan doesn’t blink. Instead, he unleashes an ancient Zen counter-strike, weaponizing a famous poem of his directly targetting Cartman's brain:

"Who says your authoritah is authoritah?

Your authoritah is not authoritah.

When you know your authoritah is not authoritah,

Then we can talk of authoritah."

Cartman reels, clutching his temples brain cells exploding.

Desperate, and with only three functioning brain cells left, Cartman reaches behind his back for his trusty nightstick—an instrument of law he had personally christened Authoritah.

Screaming his sacred battle cry—"RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH!"—Cartman swings with all his might and cracks Ryōkan across the skull.

Dazed, the old monk drops to his knees.  Looking up at the panting, purple-faced Cartman, Ryokan folds his palms together, bows serenely, and whispers:

"I respect your authoritah."

The sheer shock of someone actually respecting his Authoritah strikes Cartman like lightning. The ecstacy of a Zen monk recognising his Authoritah obliterates his final three brain cells. Every thought in his head melts away, leaving only vast, silent, pristine emptiness.

In that quiet second, Eric Theodore Cartman attains Satori. Complete Enlightenment.

Without a word, the two great fools rise and wander off toward the rising moon, arm in arm.

Meanwhile, sitting undisturbed, Buddy the black lab cross finally breaks his contemplation. He glances down at the pie Cartman dropped during the skirmish.

Licking his lips, Buddy saunters over to the pie, inhales it in two gulps, and and wanders off to roll in some Fox shit.

Footnote 

Did Ryokan's poetry loose out to Cartmans "Authoritah" or did Ryokan help Cartman become Enlightened?

After due consideration the Great Eejit's answer is "FUCK KNOWS"