Newly designated Zen Master Eric Theodore Cartman asked Ryokan if there were any other Zen Masters like him.
Ryokan nodded “Zen Master Ikkyū Sōjun is a lot like you. He is known as Crazy Cloud”.
“Sounds Cool” muttered Cartman “where can I find him?”
“He will be in the Tavern or the Brothel” said Ryokan smiling
“Kick Arse Cool” Cartman thought as he hurried away in the direction Ryokan pointed.
Cartman’s constant companion “along the way” Buddy the Black Labrador trotted along with him. Buddy knew the Tavern would have loads of food scraps on the floor and he had heard a passer by say the Brothel was full of Bitches !!!
Standing outside the aptly named Swig and Fuck Tavern (which was also the Brothel) Cartman bellowed out
“Crazy Cloud Oh Crazy Cloud come out here you mad fucker I have the authoritah to demand it”
Ikkyu staggered out of the tavern/brothel door hand on the jeweled hilt of his yet undrawn sword which was still sheathed in an enormous jeweled scabbard “Who the fuck are you man” He roared at Cartman.
“Shithouses” thought Cartman my trusty nightstick is no match for that blade. Thinking quickly Cartman said ”Ryokan suggested I come to see you - a a and he told me I would need to say something outlandish to get you out of the Brothel”
“Ryokan that fucking great fool. Heard he got beaten up by some little fart - was it you?” demanded Ikkyu hand moving onto the jeweled hilt of his sword.
“No not me I’m a bastard rap poet and to prove it I will rap out this answer” the little fart retorted
"I was not the bullet.
I was not the gun.
I was not the jury,
So don't blame me, son!"
Ikkyu roared with laughter and drew his sword which much to Cartman’s relief, turned out to be made of wood.
Cartman also burst out laughing when he saw it “It’s made of wood why do you have a wooden sword with a jeweled handle and a jeweled scabbard, your madder than me”
Ikkyu was touched by the honour of being madder than the Great Cartman and smiled at the diminutive little man before explaining
"This wooden sword looks formidable and splendid in its scabbard, but draw it in battle and it cannot cut down an enemy. It is completely useless for killing or defending. That is exactly what the abbots and masters in the great temples are like: magnificent robes on the outside, but utterly corrupt on the inside."
“Still the same in for modern world institutions” Cartman thought
A laughing Ikkyu grabbed Cartman by the arm “Come on inside lets enjoy some booze,some food and chat up a hot bitch or two”
They turned towards the tavern door just in time to see the soon to be disappointed Buddy tearing into the Tavern to meet the hot bitches.